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March 1, 2017

How to Know It’s Time for Counseling


How to Determine That it’s Time to Start Therapy

Don’t Talk to Fish

Maybe you’ve heard the expression, “If you want to know what ‘wet’ is, don’t ask a fish.” The things that are most familiar to us often go unnoticed: Things like the radar in your relationships that is always finding a reason to be offended. The bad habit that you can’t shake. The words you hear from childhood that tell you you’re a moron or ugly or in the way. The job-hopping or relationship-hopping that used to be excusable but is getting harder to defend. The lies you believe are true.

We can’t always be the ones to determine whether it’s time for counseling. Mostly because of familiarity. We’re too close to all of it. And we accept bad habits and dysfunction as some cross to bear. And we don’t get the freedom that we have access to.

So we need another opinion. We need someone to speak to our familiar surroundings and point us to truth.

So…try this one out (if you’re feeling brave): go to the ones who know you best (your spouse, your small group leader, a parent, friend or mentor). Ask them what they think. Ask them, “Have you ever thought that I should go to counseling?” Of course, a question like that is an irresponsible one to ask if you don’t really want the answer or if the person isn’t to be trusted. But if it’s somebody who knows you, who also happens to be trustworthy, the answer will be freeing and life-giving. The answer will provide you with a starting point to better things.

If you don’t have somebody to ask (or if you’re not quite ready to ask), try writing out an honest summary of your life. Write as though you’re an outsider who is seeing everything about you. What do you see? What do you like? What’s unhealthy? What are some lies you believe? Try to look at yourself for the first time, and then determine what you’d recommend to someone living your life.

Your opportunities for something different – something better – depend on the steps you take to address the familiarity around you.

However it happens, if you decide that it’s time to consider counseling, check out to find someone who can help you on your journey.

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